airBaltic Introduces Skynet, But Still Haven't Figured Out What Else to Call It

airBaltic has announced the introduction of its latest digital platform Skynet, and yes, they really chose the name from the movie where robots destroy humanity. The marketing department has either never watched 'Terminator,' or they believe Latvian passengers are brave enough to fly with a company that names its systems after artificial intelligence armed forces.

The platform will be available free of charge, which is surprising considering airBaltic usually charges even for oxygen in the cabin. Passengers will be able to track their flight in real-time, which is very useful when you want to know how quickly you're approaching disaster. As one Liepāja resident said: 'At least now I'll know why we're delayed — whether it's a Skynet error or just a regular airBaltic weekend.'

Meanwhile, the company's financial situation is as convincing as the sound of Holy Trinity Cathedral's organ heard from the courtyard — impressive, but sometimes too loud. airBaltic's losses have decreased to 44 million euros, which company management considers a success, as if they'd won Olympic gold in the category 'Fewest Lost Millions.' The IPO has been suspended because market conditions aren't suitable, which is a diplomatic way of saying: 'Nobody wants to buy our shares for any amount that isn't zero.'

Most interesting is that the platform was developed to provide 'quick and personalized access to exclusive offers,' which, knowing airBaltic, means you'll now be able to see ads for expensive snacks and alcoholic beverages even at 10 kilometers altitude. At least Starlink internet will allow passengers to complain about service in real-time on Twitter, which is progress compared to previous times when you had to wait until the next day to express your dissatisfaction.