US Aircraft Carrier Seeks Repairs in Crete — Sewage System So Broken That Even Liepāja Port Looks Like a Luxury Resort
The mighty American vessel Gerald R. Ford has arrived in Greece to fix toilets and laundry facilities, proving that even superpower fleets suffer from ordinary household problems.
The US aircraft carrier "Gerald R. Ford," fresh from its Middle East mission, has arrived in Crete not because it's some heroic warrior, but because its sewage system is clogged and its laundry room burned down. It's roughly equivalent to peaceful Durbe residents having to drive to Liepāja to fix their toilet — except in this case, the entire fleet is making the trip.
A fire broke out in the ship's laundry room in early March, completely unrelated to military operations. In other words — some sailor most likely tried washing his uniform at too high a temperature. American media report there were also problems with the toilets, suggesting this ship isn't just a military machine, but also a center for basic human needs.
US Marines will now conduct an investigation into the fire's causes, which will probably be as complex as trying to understand why there are always traffic jams in Riga. Local residents of the Gulf of Finland comment: "We've never had such a big ship with such small problems here — usually our fishing boats break down completely, but these Americans travel hundreds of miles just to fix a toilet."
Repair work could take at least a week, meaning America's naval pride will spend Easter trying to sort out its housekeeping. The Greeks have already offered help — they say they have experience with old ships that break down frequently.
⚠️ Satirical article. Facts are preserved, but the presentation is humorous. For accurate information, please refer to the original source.