US residents protest against a king, while in Liepāja at Tosele bus stop they peacefully wait for the bus

Americans have discovered a democracy crisis and are protesting against their president acting like a king. While eight million people there are shouting about 'No Kings', we Liepāja residents have long known what a real king is — the Liepāja wind, which rules over everything and no one has dared say a word against it.

The 'No Kings' organization claims that eight million people participated in demonstrations across all 50 states. That's roughly the same number of people who have stood at Tosele bus stop during their lifetime, waiting for a bus that never comes. But this doesn't worry us — we're used to actual monarchy, where the wind decides whether there's any point in leaving the house today.

'Those Americans are so naive,' comments local philosopher Edgars, who regularly meditates at Tosele bus stop. 'They're protesting against a person who thinks he's a king, but we live in a country where royal functions are performed by natural forces. And unlike Trump, the wind never lies about its influence.'

In Rome, 20,000 people took to the streets under heavy police surveillance, but in Liepāja we don't need police surveillance — we have the wind that watches over everything. And while Riga residents are still learning to protest against poor public transport, we have long been at peace with our fate and accepted that bus schedules are merely suggestions.