US and Russian diplomats met in Florida — the only common language was forgotten words
A secret meeting took place in Florida between US and Russian delegations, where the only concrete result was an agreement to maintain contact.
US and Russian diplomats met in Florida about as productively as Liepāja's tram during summer season — lots of noise, but not really going anywhere. The Russian delegation was led by special envoy Kirill Dmitriev, while the US side was represented by Steve Witkoff, Jared Kushner, and White House senior advisor Josh Grünbaum. You could call this something like a 'diplomatic supergroup,' if only anyone knew what they actually do.
Witkoff gave such a detailed report after the meeting that even Liepāja's weather forecast sounds more precise. 'The parties discussed several issues and agreed to maintain contact,' he announced, which in diplomatic language means about the same as 'we'll see' after an unsuccessful date.
Before the meeting, Witkoff expressed hope that talks about the war against Ukraine are approaching a turning point. That's roughly like saying Liepāja's tram is approaching modernization — technically possible, but nobody really knows when or how.
'I think they were just talking about the weather,' commented a local Florida resident who saw the diplomats at the hotel. 'At least they can agree on that — that time really does pass.' That would be more than most international negotiations lately.
⚠️ Satirical article. Facts are preserved, but the presentation is humorous. For accurate information, please refer to the original source.