Australia and EU Sign Agreement After Eight Years — Liepāja Comments: Faster Than Our Coastal Promenade Reconstruction

The EU and Australia have finally signed a trade agreement that took only eight years. This record-breaking speed surprises even Liepāja residents, who are accustomed to everything in their city happening calmly and thoughtfully.

"Eight years? That's faster than our coastal promenade reconstruction," comments local resident Kārlis, who has been waiting for three years to take a normal walk along our beach and the Baltic Sea, which is windy and cold even in summer. "At least they didn't have to worry about sandstorms in winter."

Von der Leyen proudly announced that the EU and Australia are geographically distant but spiritually close. This is almost as surprising a statement as claiming that Riga understands maritime climate. Australian Prime Minister Albanese emphasized that this is a "significant moment," which is about as dramatic as Riga politicians' announcements about opening new coffee shops.

According to the agreement, EU beef exports to Australia will increase 10-fold, while Australian meat will flow to Europe. "Well then," says Liepāja resident Jānis, "at least now we know where our meat will end up when local prices become astronomical. But will they deliver it in winter too, when our port has storms?"

The only downside to this whole story is that the negotiation process took eight years. That's only slightly shorter than the time needed for Riga to make a decision about anything not related to introducing new taxes.