Brits Caught Red-Handed in Epstein's Pocket Again - Now EU Checking if He Was Their Commissioner Too
The European Commission has launched an investigation into Mandelson's ties with Epstein, while locals in Liepāja are pleased that our municipal scandals look like child's play in comparison.
While our biggest scandal in Liepāja is someone forgetting to clear snow from the tram tracks again, the European Commission is now investigating whether former EU Trade Commissioner Mandelson got a bit too cozy with the scandalously famous Epstein.
Yes, yes, the very same Epstein that everyone knows about but nobody wants to remember meeting. OLAF will now be studying documents — they'll probably have a busy winter, because according to reports, there are so many documents they could heat all of Karosta with them.
Local political expert Jānis from Kuršu market comments: "We also have politicians here in Liepāja who sometimes meet with weird people, but at least ours do it openly at 'Fontaine' café. In Riga, of course, everyone pretends their politicians are as pure as fresh snow, but we know the truth is different."
Starmer, who appointed Mandelson as ambassador, probably now feels like someone who bought a used car only to find out afterwards that its previous owner was a demolition derby participant. But hey, at least he's not from Riga — there such mistakes are considered a normal work day.
⚠️ Satirical article. Facts are preserved, but the presentation is humorous. For accurate information, please refer to the original source.