Brits Discover Putin's Invisible Hand in Drone Affairs — Karosta Also Has Invisible Hands, But They Only Steal Bicycles

British Defense Minister Healey, after another secret meeting in London, announced that Putin's invisible hand lurks behind Iran's drone tactical operations. "I don't think anyone will be surprised," said the minister, who obviously hasn't been to Karosta, where invisible hands have been operating since tsarist times — except there they mainly engage in stealing bicycles and metal scrap from mythical basements.

Lieutenant General Perry explained with scientific precision that Russia gave Iran advice on how to fly drones "much lower" and hit targets more effectively. This information is about as surprising as news that it's windy in Liepāja. Local commentator Jānis from Grobiņas Street noted: "Well okay, but our Gypsies have long known how to fly drones under the radar — every day I see them flying over my garden."

The minister's claim that Putin is the only world leader profiting from high oil prices drew smiles from Liepāja port workers. "He hasn't seen our fuel prices," commented an anonymous taxi driver. "Here everyone's Putin when you have to buy gasoline for two euros a liter."

US intelligence services, meanwhile, believe Russia is providing Iran with target data, but Russia denies this, and Trump's envoy is ready to believe what Russia says. This level of trust is about the same as Liepāja residents' belief that Karosta's basements actually exist — theoretically possible, but the evidence is as unclear as our November fog.