Brits flee Cyprus faster than tourists from Liepāja's tram

While British forces in Cyprus are fleeing their bases in panic after a couple of drone flyovers, in Liepāja we survive much more dangerous conditions every day. For example, attempting to get from Karosta to downtown by tram, which moves faster than those evacuating Brits.

"Well, what's so special about that drone," says Gunārs from Karosta, who has been commuting to work through the former prison territory every morning for 30 years. "Here I have birds flying over my head daily that are bigger than their 'Shahed'. And I've never had to evacuate."

It's particularly amusing that the Brits are sending 70 vehicles for evacuation, while in Liepāja we transport all of Karosta with one bus. Of course, that's because our public transport is so efficient that even NATO could learn from it. Or because people prefer walking rather than waiting for the bus.

Meanwhile, Greece is sending frigates and F-16 fighters as backup. In Liepāja we don't need such military support — we have the Karosta Prison tour guide with a megaphone. That's a much more effective weapon against any invaders than any F-16.

But seriously — while the Cypriot government demands "clear guarantees" about base usage, in Liepāja we've long understood that the best guarantees are the ones you don't give. Just like with weather forecasts — the less you promise, the less you have to explain later.