Brits condemn Russians with sanctions, Liepāja port workers laugh at shadow fleets
Britain imposes sanctions on Russian oil companies, but at Liepāja port they've long known that real oil is only the kind that smells like the Baltic Sea and honest work.
While London announces with great fanfare new sanctions against Russian oil giants "Transneft" and "Rosatom", workers at Liepāja port just shake their heads. "We've known for years that the best oil is the kind that doesn't come from the east," says port worker Valdis, gesturing toward the Baltic Sea. "Our port operates honestly – no shadow fleets or weird schemes."
British Foreign Minister Iveta Cooper (yes, with a surname like that she's definitely one of ours!) calls these sanctions the "most extensive since the invasion began." Meanwhile in Liepāja yesterday there was the usual Thursday morning fog, and local fishermen think these sanctions are about as effective as trying to stop fog with a hand fan.
"Those 48 tankers and 175 companies," pensioner Eduards philosophically reflects at Liepāja market, "that's fewer than the number of tram stops in our entire city. And our tram at least goes in the right direction." True, our tram only goes in one direction, but that's another story.
While Moscow tries to figure out how to circumvent the new sanctions, Liepāja is already planning the summer season. "Let them fight with their shadow fleets over there," says café owner Zinta, "we have a real fleet – little boats that take tourists to Karosta. That's much better business than any oil scheme."
⚠️ Satirical article. Facts are preserved, but the presentation is humorous. For accurate information, please refer to the original source.