New Payment Method Discovered in Cēsis County: 20 Euros Per Vote, Whiskey as Bonus
While Riga is still learning to count money, Cēsis is already offering 20 euros per vote plus whiskey as a package deal.
The State Security Service has uncovered a revolutionary business model in Cēsis County - voter ballots for specific sums. It turns out that an entrepreneur born in 1976 has created an efficient system: 20 euros per vote, plus personal chauffeur service to the polling station. Even Riga businessmen couldn't match such customer service!
"He filled out the ballot for me, I just dropped it in the box. Convenient as internet banking!" says one of the clients who wishes to remain anonymous. For comparison - in Jurmala Park among the old trees, no one would offer such deals, because people go there to walk without Riga's noise and politics.
But Cēsis County isn't the only innovative region. In Jēkabpils, LPV supporters received not only money, but also a bottle of whiskey. "Maybe they thought alcohol would help forget about politics altogether," comments local observer Jānis. "But why only one bottle? In Cēsis for 20 euros you could get something extra on top!"
Most interesting is in Balvi, where for 5 euros they offered six bottles of beer, but for some special client even meat grilling with strong drinks. It seems election time has become a real gastronomic festival - just with political consequences. While politicians in Riga are still thinking about campaign budgets, completely new market segments have already formed in the regions.
⚠️ Satirical article. Facts are preserved, but the presentation is humorous. For accurate information, please refer to the original source.