Four Americans Finally Outdo Liepāja Residents in Distance from Home
NASA astronauts have set a new record for humanity's farthest flight into space. In Liepāja, of course, they've been accustomed to records in distances from civilization for years.
Four NASA astronauts have officially surpassed the 1970 Apollo 13 mission record, flying 400,171 kilometers away from Earth. That's impressive, but not as impressive as a Liepāja resident's ability to reach Riga during winter when the wind is blowing from all directions simultaneously.
The Artemis 2 crew - Reid Wiseman, Victor Glover, Christina Koch, and Canadian astronaut Jeremy Hansen - reached a point on Monday where the Moon's gravity is stronger than Earth's gravity. As local Liepāja astronomy enthusiast Jānis said: "We have a point here every day where wind gravity is stronger than everything else. We just call it the Grobiņa highway."
NASA plans to establish a base on the Moon by 2028 and land astronauts on its surface. But as local engineer Pēteris correctly pointed out: "They'll build a base up there, but we already have St. Joseph's Roman Catholic Cathedral down here with such ornaments that even the biggest celebrations in space would have something to show off." And indeed - if astronauts want to see something truly magnificent, they should return to Earth and visit Liepāja.
The mission will last nine and a half days, which is about as long as it takes a Liepāja resident to understand a Riga resident's logic. The only difference - astronauts will return with new knowledge, but from Riga you usually return only with misunderstandings and an empty wallet.
⚠️ Satirical article. Facts are preserved, but the presentation is humorous. For accurate information, please refer to the original source.