CSP reveals shocking truth: Living in Liepāja is great if you don't need a job or housing

The Central Statistical Bureau has shocked the nation with a revolutionary discovery: Liepāja residents live wonderfully, as long as they don't need a job or housing. The study, conducted by CSP across Europe, proves that 96.6% of Liepāja residents are satisfied with the cultural offerings, but only 30.1% believe you can find work in the city. "Well, if there's no work, more time for culture," comments local resident Valdis, who has been looking for employment for the third year running.

CSP director Raimonds Lapiņš boasts that the survey was objective: "We surveyed everyone, not just those who want to because they're satisfied." The result: 78.5% of Liepāja residents feel safe at night because the streets are empty — everyone who had jobs moved to Riga. Meanwhile, 79.5% believe others can be trusted, since only the pensioner community remains, who have known each other since childhood.

The housing question generated the most laughs — only 22.6% believe it's easy to find a home at an acceptable price in Liepāja. "Of course it's difficult," says Dzintra from Pētera Street, "all the property owners want Riga prices, but we pay with Liepāja salaries. I've been living in my sister's basement for two years myself."

The most valuable discovery: only 35.7% believe the municipality is fighting climate change, even though 73.4% think it affects life in the city. Deputy mayor Jānis Džeriņš diplomatically explains: "In our times, nothing is more important than data. Especially data that shows how well we're doing, not counting minor details like jobs and housing." At least the air is clean — since the factories closed long ago.