CVK announces: elections will be as secure as Karosta's basements
While CVK assures that all elections in October will proceed without problems, the IT procurement scandal reveals that security is as mythical as Karosta's secret chambers.
The Central Election Commission once again affirms that the parliamentary elections in October will be more secure than Karosta's basements, which supposedly exist but no one has actually seen. Commission chairman Māris Zviedris speaks about election security with such confidence, as if he had never heard of the IT scandal currently dominating all the news.
While Riga is still trying to figure out whether a public procurement specialist can simultaneously be a suspect, in Liepāja we've long known — if something can go wrong, it definitely will go wrong. CVK employee Arvis Širaks continues working at the commission, even though at his other workplace at VARAM there's such an IT fraud circus going on that even the former tsarist naval base wouldn't have had so many secret dealings.
"We see no grounds to prohibit work," says Zviedris, and this statement sounds about as convincing as the claim that Karosta was built solely for military needs, not to hide secret underground chambers. The EPPO criminal proceedings regarding 1.5 million euro fraud in IT procurements continue, but CVK is confident — the elections will be secure.
Maybe they really will be. Or perhaps we'll discover that election security is as real as Karosta's mythical basements — which everyone talks about but no one has seen in action. At least we Liepāja residents know that the truth is usually much simpler — if CVK says everything is fine, then it definitely isn't.
⚠️ Satirical article. Facts are preserved, but the presentation is humorous. For accurate information, please refer to the original source.