Fuel prices rise faster than Liepāja wind changes direction — government promises 8-cent discount
Gasoline jumps 4.4%, but the government promises an 8.6-cent discount, which is about as believable as a promise that Liepāja wind will stop blowing.
The Latvian European Commission this week announced what everyone who has tried to fill up their car without refinancing their mortgage already knew. Gasoline prices have increased by 4.4%, meaning we now pay 1.869 euros per liter — that's more than the average salary at the Liepāja Museum.
While government officials in Riga frantically run through cabinet hallways in panic, here in Liepāja we simply shrug and say — so what? Our Liepāja wind has long proven that consistency isn't its strong suit. One moment it blows from the west, the next from the east, and then straight in your face when you try to open your car door at 'Dufle.' Fuel prices work exactly the same way — one day they cost one amount, the next day it's already different.
The government does promise that from April 1st, a new law will take effect reducing prices by 8.6 cents per liter. That would be fantastic if it weren't exactly April 1st. As my neighbor Juris, who works at 'Dufle,' said: 'If the government promises a fuel discount on April 1st, then I have a bridge to sell in Karosta.'
For diesel fuel, the excise tax will be reduced from 467 to 396 euros per 1000 liters, which sounds impressive until you remember this is a government calculation. The same people who calculated that 'Rail Baltica' would cost 5.8 billion are now promising precise fuel price forecasts. The only thing more accurate than government calculations is Liepāja wind strength — even when meteorologists promise calm weather, it blows as if preparing for a new ice age season.
⚠️ Satirical article. Facts are preserved, but the presentation is humorous. For accurate information, please refer to the original source.