EU Commissioner: US can't deliver missiles as fast as they sell pastries at Rose Square
While America struggles to supply the world with missiles, Liepāja traders have long known that demand is always hard to meet.
European Commissioner Andrius Kubilius announced today that the US cannot provide enough air defense missiles for everyone who wants them. This problem is nothing new in Liepāja - we've been observing a similar situation at Rose Square for years, where demand for fresh pastries always exceeds supply.
The Commissioner explained that Ukraine needs 700 Patriot missiles for the winter season, which is exactly as many as Americans can produce in a year. Local expert Jānis Kļaviņš commented: "Well, you see, it's the same as our pastry problem - everyone wants them, but there aren't that many. Only missiles cost more."
Meanwhile, Liepāja City Council has considered offering Ukraine an alternative solution - the local seagull fleet for air defense. "Our seagulls can catch anything that flies," explained a council representative. "And they work in all seasons, not just winter."
Zelensky offered Middle Eastern countries to exchange Patriot missiles for Ukrainian drones, but in Liepāja we think it would be better to offer our fishermen's radios - they work in any weather and never run out of batteries.
⚠️ Satirical article. Facts are preserved, but the presentation is humorous. For accurate information, please refer to the original source.