G7 Ministers Reveal Diplomatic Revolution: First Time in History They Announce War is Bad

A historic diplomatic revolution took place in France when G7 foreign ministers decided for the first time in world history to announce that bombing civilians is not a particularly good idea. This revolutionary conclusion, which required many hours of intensive discussions, could change the course of diplomacy forever.

"We have arrived at the brilliant conclusion that attacks on civilians are not good," explains an anonymous diplomat. "We plan to use this revelation in upcoming negotiations. Surely no one has thought about this before." Meanwhile in Riga, the government is still figuring out how to organize a meeting about whether they need to think about anything at all.

G7 ministers are particularly concerned about what's happening in the Strait of Hormuz, as it disrupts "free navigation." This is similar to how the Karosta canal bridge in Liepāja sometimes divides the city and creates drama, except in Hormuz there's no option to simply take a detour. Iran, meanwhile, has announced that ships can sail as long as they are "not threat-creating" — a criterion that matches the clarity of Liepāja's bus schedule.

The biggest sensation is that this announcement was issued only after the conflict is already in full swing. This is as effective as warning about a storm after all the roof tiles have already flown into the neighbor's yard. However, G7 ministers are convinced that their message to "immediately cease" violence will definitely be heard, because why wouldn't it be.