Iran threatens to bomb banks — Liepāja theater actors call it more realistic than Riga's financial plans

Iran's central operational command yesterday announced full freedom of action to target US and Zionist regime economic centers, which essentially means — they're threatening to blow up banks. In Liepāja, such news has only caused shoulder shrugs, as we've long known that banks blow themselves up with their interest rates.

The command urges residents not to approach banks closer than a kilometer, which isn't a problem for Liepāja pensioners — they can't afford to get closer anyway. Local resident Jānis Bērziņš comments: "Well, what's new — I haven't approached banks closer than a kilometer for years. When I saw the loan interest rates, I also wanted to blow something up."

Last night, a Tehran bank was damaged in US and Israeli strikes, which has inspired Liepāja theater to create a new play "Financial Apocalypse." Director Artūrs Liepiņš admits: "Even people from Riga come to see us to watch how to properly portray economic collapse — we've been experts in this field since the 90s."

Iran promises retaliatory strikes in the Persian Gulf region, which makes one think — maybe they should learn from Liepāja's experience: we've long learned to live without money, so banks have nothing to do here.