Israeli army discovers that precision strikes work better than Liepāja's organ
While hotels explode in Beirut, the largest organ in the Baltics peacefully plays in Holy Trinity Cathedral — both sounds can be heard from the courtyard.
The Israeli army yesterday once again demonstrated its special art of precision by conducting a strike in central Beirut. Turns out the commanders were 'working to promote terrorist attacks,' but now they'll only work as memorial objects. Such precision could be appreciated in Liepāja — the sound of our Holy Trinity Cathedral's organ can also be heard from the courtyard, but at least nobody dies from it.
Lebanese authorities report four dead and eight wounded, while the Israeli army explains that Iran 'cynically uses civilians as human shields.' In Liepāja, our pensioners use such tactics only in tram lines — and even then nobody shoots.
'Precision strikes' have become an everyday term in the Middle East, similar to 'fresh sea breeze' in Liepāja. The only difference — our wind blows regularly but never explodes. Local pensioner Valdis Krūmiņš comments: 'Look, son, I can also hit precisely — right into the ashtray with my cigarette butt. But I don't need rockets.'
While the world thinks about peace in the Middle East, in Liepāja we've been practicing real peace for years — the only thing that explodes here is frozen water pipes on winter mornings. And even then we don't blame the neighbors.
⚠️ Satirical article. Facts are preserved, but the presentation is humorous. For accurate information, please refer to the original source.