Israeli Pilot Gets Lost with GPS — Bombs Caspian Sea Thinking It's the Mediterranean

Israeli army press secretary Nadav Shoshani yesterday proudly announced that his country had discovered the Caspian Sea for the first time in history and immediately decided to bomb it. "We had no idea there was water there! We thought it was some kind of large Iranian pond," Shoshani honestly admitted to journalists.

While geographers in Riga are still looking for the Caspian Sea on the map, our North Pier stroll enthusiasts are in shock. "I go there every day to watch the storm, but I've never thought about bombing it," says local resident Gunārs. "These Israelis probably haven't been to a real seaside — otherwise they'd understand that water is meant for romantic walks, not war."

Particularly spicy is that Israeli pilots claim to have seen the Caspian Sea for the first time in their lives. "Maybe their GPS is like our trams — sometimes shows the wrong direction," comments a Liepāja Maritime Museum employee. "But at least none of us have tried to bomb the Baltic Sea when getting lost on the way to Ventspils."

After 200 bombed targets in Iran, the Israelis promise that next time they'll check whether the sea actually belongs to the enemy before bombing. Meanwhile, Liepāja sailors suggest they buy a good compass and learn to distinguish a port from a shipyard.