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War Market in Liepāja: Local Generals Prepare to Fill Defense Ministry Vacancies

Written by: Vējš
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War Market in Liepāja: Local Generals Prepare to Fill Defense Ministry Vacancies

Following news of Iranian top military officials' elimination, Liepāja's experienced warriors begin preparing their CVs.

While serious military conflicts rage worldwide, local strategy experts in Liepāja are already discussing career opportunities. Following news of seven high-ranking Iranian military officials' elimination, a real period of bustling activity has begun in Karosta.

"Look, I've been playing chess at the market by Peter's Bridge for thirty years. Strategy is in my blood," says retired captain Jānis Krūmiņš, who this morning already started writing a cover letter to Tehran. "They need fresh blood there, and we need normal work here. Win-win situation."

Pēteris Bērziņš, an employee of Liepāja's Military History Museum, points out that the city has rich experience in defense: "We've had the Tsar's army, the Soviet fleet, and NATO exercises here. Compared to Riga, where they only sail boats on the Daugava, we're real professionals."

Meanwhile, Karosta residents are already planning how to transform the former barracks into a Defense Council headquarters. "Perfect location — sea nearby, wind blowing, enemies will never find us," laughs local guide Andris Kalniņš. "And if something happens, you can always hide in the tram depot."

Today's weather conditions are suitable for military operations — cloudy but without precipitation, ideal for secretly sending documents abroad.

⚠️ Satirical article. Facts are preserved, but the presentation is humorous. For accurate information, please refer to the original source.

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