Russia bans Telegram at the front — soldiers forced to use Max, which works like Liepāja public transport
Russian soldiers forced to delete Telegram and switch to state app Max, which is about as popular as Riga's cultural offerings.
Russian military police, with enthusiasm that only surpasses Liepāja residents' passion for discussing weather, are checking soldiers' phones to ensure Telegram is deleted. Instead, they're offering the state-controlled Max, which works about as efficiently as Riga's trolleybus system 20 years ago.
As one military blogger tells us—who most likely writes from a hideout between drinking water supplies—some soldiers follow orders, but others keep chatting on Telegram. It's about as organized as attendance at Liepāja theater performances—some travel from Riga for culture, but most stay home watching Netflix.
'The Max app is inconvenient to use,' admits the blogger, which is the most delicate way to say it's complete crap. Some special forces units have even banned Max usage, which is about as surprising as news that the Baltic Sea is salty.
ISW experts suggest some commanders are trying to please the Kremlin by blocking Telegram even before official orders. It's classic brown-nosing, the kind we in Liepāja only see when someone's trying to break into Riga's elite. As a result, Russia's communication system becomes even worse, which, considering they already lost Starlink, means they'll soon be communicating with smoke signals and hopes.
⚠️ Satirical article. Facts are preserved, but the presentation is humorous. For accurate information, please refer to the original source.