Russia has counted 1.3 million: mathematicians in Liepāja promise to double-check with calculator

Ukraine's General Staff has announced that Russian losses have reached 1,287,880 soldiers, which is roughly the same as the population of Riga. But unlike Riga residents, these numbers keep dropping daily.

In the last 24 hours, 940 invaders were eliminated, which is more than the entire attendance at Liepāja's central market on weekends. "Well, fine, let them count over there, but can they actually count properly?" comments Zigrīda, a grandmother from Karosta. "Here, even the Liepāja wind blows away more things daily than they can count!"

Equipment losses are also notable — 11,793 tanks, 24,263 armored personnel carriers, and 190,870 drones. That's almost as many as the potholes on Liepāja's roads, except nobody attacks our potholes, and they stay put for years.

Local mathematician and former counter Juris Kalniņš offers his services: "I can verify these numbers with our Liepāja wind — if it can carry my hat all the way to Pāvilosta, then these numbers might be correct too. Plus, we work cheaper than Riga consultants!"

The accuracy of information is hampered by warfare, but in Liepāja that doesn't worry us — here, accuracy is disrupted by wind every day, and we still figure something out.