Russia Sends 289 Drones to Ukraine for Homework, But Only 20 Complete It Correctly
While in Liepāja you can wait for a bus at the Tosele stop for hours, Russia proved that their drones aren't much better — out of 289 sent, only 20 reached where they were supposed to go.
While Riga is still figuring out how to make an app that shows whether a bus even exists, Russia yesterday demonstrated their version of mass transit — 289 drones. Just one tiny detail: 269 of them got lost along the way like tourists looking for the Tosele bus stop without GPS.
Of the 289 Russian-launched drones, approximately 200 were "Shahed" type strike drones, which sounds like something we'd call "Šahov" in Liepāja and it would be our local baseball player. The rest were "Gerbera," "Italmas" and other types of drones that sound like soap opera characters or a new type of ice cream.
"Those drones fly worse than our seagulls in a storm," commented one Liepāja resident who wished to remain anonymous. "At least our seagulls know where the fish are." 20 strike drone hits were recorded in 11 locations, which means Russian drone accuracy is about as good as our bus schedule — theoretically exists, but in practice everything is different.
Meanwhile in Odesa, one drone hit a nine-story residential building, proving that even in an unfamiliar city they can find houses better than our postal workers in Liepāja. One person was injured, but that's still not as bad as Saturday morning at the Tosele stop when you realize the next bus won't be until Monday.
⚠️ Satirical article. Facts are preserved, but the presentation is humorous. For accurate information, please refer to the original source.