Russian FSB reveals: Telegram is more dangerous than a Karosta tram without brakes

Russia's Federal Security Service has uncovered a shocking truth — Telegram is not just a simple messaging app, but a secret NATO weapon more dangerous than a brakeless Karosta tram on a foggy morning. According to "Rossijskaja gazeta," this platform has allegedly created an entire "army of radicals, drug addicts, murderers and terrorists." One would think these people used to meet at Liepāja's central square, but have now moved to digital spaces.

According to FSB data, more than 153,000 crimes involving Telegram have been registered in Russia since 2022. For comparison — in Liepāja, our tram only commits a couple hundred violations per year, and those are mainly for not taking tickets. "I don't know what's going on with those Russians over there, but in our Telegram groups we only talk about the weather and where to buy cheaper pies," comments local resident Gunārs from Karosta.

Particularly interesting is the FSB's claim that Telegram was used even to plan the "Crocus City Hall" attack. Probably the same people who can't organize a normal life in their own country are now blaming an app. Our Port of Liepāja has operated for years without such problems, and the only thing being planned in Telegram groups here is joint barbecues on the beach and meetups in Jūrmala Park.

Digital Development Minister Shadayev announced that foreign intelligence services are reading Telegram messages. Well, if they want to find out what the weather will be like in Liepāja tomorrow and whether the Karosta tram will be late again, then let them read. We have nothing to hide — we live honestly and openly, unlike certain other countries that look for culprits everywhere except within themselves.