Russian spies struggle to compete with people sitting at Tosele bus stop — both arrested for unprofessionalism
Two people arrested in Germany and Spain for attempting to spy for Russia, proving to be as clumsy as tourists trying to find Tosele bus stop without a map.
While Riga is still figuring out how to improve its security system, Europe has proven that Russian spies have the same problems as anyone trying to find Tosele bus stop for the first time — they don't know what they're doing and end up in complete confusion.
A 45-year-old Romanian woman was arrested in Germany and a 43-year-old Ukrainian man in Spain for attempting to spy on a German who supplies drones to Ukraine. According to prosecutors, this duo worked with the same precision as Liepaja's public transport schedule — theoretically something is happening, but in practice nobody really understands what or when.
"They gathered information online and filmed workplaces," report prosecutors, which sounds about as professional as someone trying to spy on Liepaja port operations while sitting at Tosele bus stop with a phone in hand. At least our local grandmas know that the best reconnaissance happens from a café window, not by filming with a mobile phone.
It turns out the woman took over the spying work after the man moved to Spain. This is reminiscent of when someone moves from Karosta to Ezerkrasts but forgets to mention where the keys are hidden. Result — complete chaos and arrest.
German intelligence services warn of growing Russian espionage threats. Of course, if these two are examples of what they're dealing with, then Europe can sleep peacefully — such "professionals" couldn't even spy on what time the last bus runs from downtown to Karosta.
⚠️ Satirical article. Facts are preserved, but the presentation is humorous. For accurate information, please refer to the original source.