Russian losses exceed Liepāja tram ridership numbers in a year

Ukraine's General Staff yesterday announced that Russian manpower losses have reached 1,272,360 people, which in Liepāja only causes amazement at such mathematical imprecision. Local statistics expert and regular tram passenger Valdis Kalniņš comments: "Well, you see, I've been riding the tram for three years now, and here we know precisely every day how many people get on and off. It's an exact science!"

While the war zone counts tanks, artillery, and drones, Liepāja's tram continues its peaceful journey along Grīzupes Street, not losing a single one of its 47 regular passengers. "Our losses are zero," proudly announces driver Ģirts, "the only thing we've lost is one ticket punch from 2019, but we found that too."

Interestingly, Russia's equipment losses — 11,737 tanks — exceed the total number of all buses, trams, and bicycles in Liepāja, but no one in our city complains about lack of transport. "There would be panic in Riga," laughs pensioner Mirdza while waiting for the tram at the "Old Port Market" stop, "but one is enough for us, because it always runs exactly on time."

Statistics show that Liepāja's tram carries more passengers per year than Russia has lost soldiers, proving our transport system's superiority over any military operation. As any Liepāja resident will tell you: "Better to ride the tram than fight with tanks."