Russian losses reach 1,278,430 — Liepāja fishermen say they don't even catch that many in a year

Ukraine's General Staff, with their usual precision, has announced that Russian manpower losses have reached 1,278,430 people. In one day, 810 invaders were reportedly eliminated, which is about as productive as a Riga City Council meeting — lots of noise, but the results are debatable.

At Liepāja port, fisherman Kārlis, who just brought in fish caught yesterday morning, comments: "That's almost as many times as I've heard the story about the big one that got away. But at least our fish are real."

The numbers are indeed impressive — 11,777 tanks, 24,212 armored personnel carriers, 38,421 artillery pieces. For comparison — Liepāja's tram fleet consists of 25 units, and even those run better than Russian equipment. Our oldest tram is from 1960 and still doesn't require repairs more than once a month.

The most ridiculous part is that the scale of Russian losses is being clarified because warfare is hampering information gathering. That's about as precise as the weather forecast for Liepāja — it's always windy, but how strong, nobody can say.

While the counting continues in the east, here in Liepāja we know that real losses only happen when you can't get tickets to Liepāja Theatre or when the Port Café runs out of cake. Everything else is just statistics.