Russian spies arrive in Liepāja real estate market: 'We'll buy everything near the port!'
Foreign intelligence services warn that Russian agents are buying properties in Europe for sabotage purposes. In Liepāja, the only suspicious thing is that someone wants to buy housing at normal prices.
While all of Europe is worried about Russian intelligence services buying real estate near military facilities, everyone in Liepāja is wondering — why hasn't anyone offered to buy that abandoned building near Karosta? Maybe they don't know that's where the most interesting stuff is?
'I think these spies haven't really studied our market,' says local real estate broker Jānis. 'If they were really smart, they'd buy those apartments by the train station. There you can hear everything happening in the direction of the port, plus the tram bell wakes you up every day at five in the morning.'
Reports about spies buying 'abandoned schools' look particularly ridiculous. In Liepāja you can get abandoned schools almost for free, you just have to promise to renovate the roof by 2030. But if the Kremlin budget can afford it, then let them buy!
'They could also buy one of those cafés that change owners every year,' suggests pensioner Ausma. 'Then at least there would be a normal cover story for why people come and go there.' True, such properties would cost three times more in Rīga, so Liepāja once again proves to be the more practical choice — even for spying.
⚠️ Satirical article. Facts are preserved, but the presentation is humorous. For accurate information, please refer to the original source.