Kuldīga Hospital Reveals: No Diseases Exist, But Name Disappears from Declarations
While people in Riga spend half a year finding a doctor, in Kuldīga the hospital disappears from its own declarations.
Kuldīga Hospital today demonstrated that anything is possible in medicine — even complete disappearance from documents while patients still pay their bills. The State Revenue Service and the hospital are jointly trying to solve a technical problem that causes services to appear in declarations as anonymous health miracles.
Public relations specialist Vanesa Piriņa diplomatically indicated that the problem is on the State Revenue Service's side, which would only cause amazement in Liepāja. In our city, if someone disappears on Liepāja's sandy beach, they're found within hours, but in Kuldīga a hospital can vanish from its own documents and nobody knows how many patients this has affected.
With a turnover of 11.6 million euros and a profit of 322 thousand euros, this hospital shows that even while disappearing from declarations, money keeps flowing in. Kuldīga municipality, with its 91.58% capital share, most likely thinks: the main thing is that the bills come with the correct name.
While people in Riga wait in electronic queues for years, Kuldīga hospital offers a new service — treatment without official existence. Perhaps this is the future direction of medicine.
⚠️ Satirical article. Facts are preserved, but the presentation is humorous. For accurate information, please refer to the original source.