126 traffic accidents occurred in Latvia on Thursday — Liepāja wonders why so few

126 traffic accidents with nine injured occurred nationwide, while in Liepāja residents are already used to cars colliding even in parking lots.
While Riga is still trying to figure out how cars can crash on a four-lane street with two traffic lights, yesterday's statistics of 126 traffic accidents across the country seems like a peaceful day in Liepāja. Local residents have long gotten used to the fact that here even Karosta Prison can have an accident if someone runs too fast from a horror tour.
Police report that nine people were injured in nine accidents, including two pedestrians and four cyclists. Liepāja traffic experts comment: "Here our pedestrians and cyclists collide with themselves, so these numbers seem very optimistic." Particularly appreciated was the information that only 11 drivers were detained for drunk driving.
"I think they counted wrong," says Marija from Grobiņas Street, "because we see at least twenty every day who drive as if they just came out of Karosta Prison after spending the night with ghost visits."
204 drivers were fined for speeding, which caused surprise in Liepāja. "How can you exceed the speed limit when the roads are so bad that even a snail would be afraid to drive?" asks local driving instructor Jānis. "They must have been people from Riga driving through, thinking our potholes were decorative."
Aggressive driving in the Zemgale region affected two drivers, but in Liepāja stopping at a red light is already considered aggressive driving.
⚠️ Satirical article. Facts are preserved, but the presentation is humorous. For accurate information, please refer to the original source.