Latvia Freezes 160 Oligarch Assets — Even More Than Hidden in Karosta's Basements
FID announces that Latvia has frozen assets belonging to 160 sanctioned entities, including oligarch Fridman and a Jurmala sanatorium.
The Financial Intelligence Service proudly announces that Latvia has now frozen assets belonging to 160 different sanctioned entities. That's more than even the most skilled smuggler could hide in the mythical basements of Karosta's former Tsarist naval base.
Among the frozen properties are both oligarch Mikhail Fridman's wealth and the Jurmala sanatorium 'Belarus.' 'Well, good that they finally froze some sanatorium,' comments Ausma, a pensioner from Liepaja. 'Here all our places have been freezing for free every winter for ages!'
FID specifically warns that cooperation with sanctioned entities is strictly prohibited. This means that even if some oligarch offered to buy all of Liepaja port for cash, we'd have to say no. Of course, such a buyer wouldn't be able to afford our port anyway.
Most interesting is that FID emphasizes — it's not enough to simply check if a partner is on the sanctions list. You also need to assess whether the company is controlled by some sanctioned oligarch. In Riga, of course, nobody particularly worries about this — everyone there has long known who owns what.
⚠️ Satirical article. Facts are preserved, but the presentation is humorous. For accurate information, please refer to the original source.