Latvia signs contract with Finnish company, but Durbe soldiers still ride bicycles

The Defense Ministry has concluded a contract with Finnish company 'Patria' for armored personnel carrier maintenance, which sounds about as complicated as explaining to a Riga resident where Liepāja's central railway station is located. Minister Sprūds proudly announced that now our military equipment will be ready for action at any time, which is a great achievement considering that even Liepāja's tram sometimes refuses to run in the rain.

The contract provides for full-cycle maintenance of 6x6 armored personnel carriers, which means the Finns will take care of everything — from oil changes to tire inflation. As Karosta mechanic Juris says: 'Well, at least they won't have to repair with rope and electrical tape, like we do with our old Zhigulis.' Seven countries are participating in this program, including even Great Britain, which is about as surprising as learning that Durbe takes pride in its peacefulness — nothing ever happens there anyway.

What's most pleasing is that these vehicles will also be used in Ukraine, which means our equipment will finally end up somewhere where there's real action. While Riga thinks about how to fit these armored vehicles into traffic jams, in Liepāja we simply rejoice that we have a tram that has never shot at anyone.