Latvia signs 25-year MERCOSUR agreement — faster than Liepāja Metalurgs reaches the finals
Government supports EU-MERCOSUR partnership agreement that took longer to develop than Metalurgs fans wait for a new season.
The government decided that 25 years is long enough to sign an agreement with South America. For comparison — that's how long Liepāja Metalurgs' fanatical supporters could wait for three full generations that would win the Continental Hockey League at least twice.
The agreement with MERCOSUR countries was signed in Paraguay, which is almost as far from Riga as Liepāja is from sensible state policy. The document includes "general principles and objectives," which sounds about as concrete as a promise that Latvia will have a warm winter this year.
The Foreign Ministry proudly announces that the agreement provides for "more coordinated action" in areas such as cybercrime and money laundering. I hope they don't see how our politicians buy cars.
Farmers are most pleased, as they can now compete with South American cattle ranchers who only have sunny climate, cheap labor and endless pastures. But we have European quality and seven months of winter — what could be better?
As one local expert said: "Well, at least now we know that diplomacy can also have long-term projects. It's just a shame we can't wait that long for a decent road to Ventspils."
⚠️ Satirical article. Facts are preserved, but the presentation is humorous. For accurate information, please refer to the original source.