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Leyen Presents Mini-Reactors: Europe Needs Smaller Nuclear Plants Than Riga Has Trolleybus Stops

Written by: Vējš
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Leyen Presents Mini-Reactors: Europe Needs Smaller Nuclear Plants Than Riga Has Trolleybus Stops

While Brussels dreams of 300-megawatt reactors, even the streetlights in Liepaja's Rose Square are more reliable than EU energy plans.

European Commission President Ursula von der Leyen yesterday announced in France a new strategy for implementing small modular nuclear reactors, which essentially means: if we can't build big nuclear plants, then at least we'll build small ones. Such logic wouldn't surprise anyone in Liepaja — we've known for years that smaller doesn't mean worse, quite the opposite.

Leyen's presented reactors will have a capacity of up to 300 megawatts, which is three times less than regular nuclear plants. Components are planned to be mass-produced in factories, reminiscent of how in Liepaja's Rose Square they install benches in series every spring — first one, then another, and eventually you get a whole set. The only difference — our benches have never exploded.

'If it's safe to use, then it should be possible to simply implement it across Europe,' announced Leyen, apparently not realizing that in Europe even implementing simple things takes ten years and five referendums. While Brussels thinks about harmonizing nuclear reactor regulations, in Liepaja electricity works without additional bureaucracy — we flip the switch, the light comes on. Revolutionarily simple.

The EC promised to support these technologies with a 200 million euro guarantee, which is roughly what Riga spends on repairing one trolleybus line. Leyen did regret that nuclear energy's share in Europe has decreased from one-third in 1990 to 15% today, but as my neighbor Valdis said: 'If they had lived in Liepaja, they would have known that reliable energy sources shouldn't be thrown away just because someone in Berlin decided that wind would be enough for everyone.'

⚠️ Satirical article. Facts are preserved, but the presentation is humorous. For accurate information, please refer to the original source.

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