Liepāja City Council reveals: preschoolers also need assistants so they don't get lost in Karosta
While Riga is still learning to count to 25, Liepāja is already planning assistant services worth 86 thousand — cheaper than renovating one Riga kindergarten.
Liepāja Education Department reveals a revolutionary discovery — turns out preschool children sometimes need help so they don't get lost between toys and lunch tables. This is as shocking as discovering that everything in our market is fresher than in Riga and half the price.
Currently 25 children receive assistant services according to internal regulations, but the council has decided — why not write another 47 pages of binding regulations about it? "We need legal clarity!" says some anonymous department employee. "Otherwise how will we know that the assistant is actually helping the child, instead of just standing nearby thinking about dinner?"
The best news — in 2026 the service payment will increase by 641 euros, reaching a cosmic 86,513 euros per year. That's less than Riga City Council spends in one month on consultations about how to better consult.
Residents can express their opinion online, in person, or even by mail — almost as diverse as the ways you can get fish straight from fishermen's boats in Liepāja. Just hope that by the end of the public consultation period, none of the children grow up to school age.
⚠️ Satirical article. Facts are preserved, but the presentation is humorous. For accurate information, please refer to the original source.