Liepaja.AI
SATIREPolitics

All of Liepāja Municipality's Volunteers Sign Up for Security Commission — All Nine of Them

Written by: Vējš
·
Share:
All of Liepāja Municipality's Volunteers Sign Up for Security Commission — All Nine of Them

The new commission will work without compensation, which in Liepāja means only one thing — they'll work out of passion or someone promised pizza.

Liepāja municipality proudly announces its new Security Commission, which will feature a whopping nine brave volunteers. The commission's creation was proposed by V. Vecvagaris, who apparently hasn't heard that everyone in Liepāja already works for self-sacrifice and the smell of sea salt.

The new commission will unite representatives from all possible municipal departments — from municipal police to the Public Relations and Marketing division. Since everyone in Liepāja holds multiple jobs simultaneously, some commission members may have to sit in opposition to themselves.

"I already work for free everywhere else, so why not in the commission too," says local resident Jānis, who represents at least three different municipal departments. "The main thing is that Karosta will be safer, though it's already so peaceful there that even the seagulls sleep until noon."

In Riga, such commission members would receive compensation exceeding the average Liepāja resident's salary, but in our city everyone is motivated by pure conscience and the opportunity to end each meeting with a group walk along the sea. As commission member Elīna says: "We work for the idea, because money would blow away through our pockets in this wind anyway."

The commission will operate under the supervision of the Social, Health and Security Issues Committee, which means there will now be a committee overseeing a commission that takes care of security. In Riga, this would require another commission to oversee the committee, but in Liepāja we keep things simple — like our tram route.

⚠️ Satirical article. Facts are preserved, but the presentation is humorous. For accurate information, please refer to the original source.

💬 Comments