Liepāja Port Workers Outraged: Why Didn't the US Invite Our Sailors to Help Catch Drugs?

While Americans try to fight drugs with rockets, Liepāja port veterans offer their experience in detecting contraband.
Liepāja port captain Valdis Krūmiņš yesterday, watching news about US operations against drug smugglers, just shook his head: "Here in Karosta we can tell with one glance at a ship whether something's not right. But they're shooting with rockets! What kind of method is that?"
According to reports, Americans started bombing suspicious ships in the Caribbean Sea and Pacific Ocean in September, claiming to be fighting "narco-terrorists." In reality, there's no proof of drugs being present on the ships, but that doesn't worry the Americans.
"They do the same in Riga - first shoot, then ask questions," comments fisherman Jānis Bērziņš at Liepāja market. "But we here in Liepāja are more civilized. We have experience with all kinds of ships - Russian, Swedish, and those that don't know where they're coming from. And we've never shot rockets at them!"
Liepāja port administration is already preparing a letter to US Southern Command offering to send their specialists to teach Americans how to properly inspect ships. "We have people here who can tell from a ship's smell whether there are drugs or just old fish," explains a port worker. "And most importantly - nobody gets killed. Maximum - they get told a bit about life in the detention room."
Weather report: today in Liepāja +3 degrees, light rain. In the Caribbean Sea, probably warmer, but not as safe.
⚠️ Satirical article. Facts are preserved, but the presentation is humorous. For accurate information, please refer to the original source.