Liepāja Police Officers Surprised: Gas Stations Can Actually Not Explode
While police elsewhere deal with explosions, our brave law enforcers in Karosta peacefully drink coffee and marvel that their workplaces don't tend to explode.
Another round of news from the world makes us rejoice once again that we live in Liepāja, where the greatest explosion hazard is when someone tries to light a grill in Jūrmalciems on a windy day.
While Ukrainian police have encountered unexpected pyrotechnic shows at gas stations, our brave Karosta law enforcers can peacefully park their cars at any gas pump without losing sleep. The maximum risk on our side is that someone might forget to put out their cigarette before refueling, but even then it all ends with just a warning and laughter.
"You see, that's why I'll never go work in Rīga," says Andris Kalniņš, who has been patrolling Liepāja streets for twenty years. "There anything can happen — from attacks with political posters to explosive referendums. Here our maximum is some drunk tourist trying to teach the tram a new route."
While Zelensky investigates terrorist attacks through Telegram, our capital's problem-solving has gotten stuck on the question of whether Daugavgrīvas Street is long enough to place yet another speed camera there. In Liepāja we solve such things simply — the old way, in person, over a cup of coffee at 'Fontaine' or 'Vecpilsētā'.
⚠️ Satirical article. Facts are preserved, but the presentation is humorous. For accurate information, please refer to the original source.