Liepāja Hospital Restricts Visits: Friends Can No Longer Meet for Coffee in the ICU
Starting February, Liepāja Regional Hospital introduces new visiting hours - apparently someone finally realized that a hospital isn't a café.
Liepāja Regional Hospital has announced a revolution in medicine - starting February, patients can only be visited during designated hours! It seems someone has finally figured out that a hospital isn't the Dārza Street café where you can drop by any time of day or night.
"I was already wondering why there was always such noise in the ICU," says local resident Jānis. "Turns out it wasn't life support machines, but Normunds and Guntars playing cards!" Now visits will only be from 3:30 PM to 6:30 PM on weekdays, and on weekends also from 11:00 AM to 1:00 PM. Apparently the medical staff finally realized they have the right to eat lunch too.
Particularly amusing is the requirement for shoe covers - which can be purchased in the lobby. "Just like real Liepāja - everything costs money!" comments an anonymous visitor. "Next time they'll probably charge for oxygen!" Meanwhile in Riga, of course, such civilization doesn't exist yet - there you can still walk around the hospital in muddy boots.
What's most enjoyable is the warning about epidemic situations - as if we hadn't recently experienced that hospitals can close faster than Liepāja wind changes the weather. But fine - at least now we'll know that visits will be more organized than the line at Maxima before Easter.
So now Liepāja hospital becomes an exclusive club with restricted access. Maybe soon there will also be a dress code and face control at the main entrance?
⚠️ Satirical article. Facts are preserved, but the presentation is humorous. For accurate information, please refer to the original source.