Liepāja Hospital Switches to Ice Skating Mode – Scheduled Surgeries Cancelled Until Spring

Liepāja Regional Hospital has officially announced it's switching to emergency mode as residents are mastering en masse the new winter sport – freestyle on black ice. In one week, 228 brave athletes have signed up for impromptu competitions of 'Who Can Reach the ER Fastest'.

'This year's situation is unique – even our experienced medics haven't seen such creative ways to break an arm,' says hospital representative Indra Grāse. 'One patient even managed to break his wrist while falling on his back. We're still figuring out how that was possible.'

In Riga, of course, there's no such problem – they only have boring wet snow and uninteresting falls. But in Liepāja, even the ice has character! 'This is my third time here this month,' boasts pensioner Jānis. 'First time I broke the leg, second time – the arm, now I'm hoping for ribs. I want the complete set!'

Municipal police representative Elva Lubāne admits controlling the situation is difficult: 'Yesterday the sidewalk was safe, today it's like a bobsled track. Even our officers are starting to walk around with helmets.' The hospital is currently planning to open an additional 'Creative Fractures' department and considering inviting Olympic trainers for consultations.