Liepāja Residents Managed to Argue to the Bitter End Only 33 Times Last Year
Statistics show that Liepāja residents are becoming increasingly civilized, or simply too tired to reach for weapons.
Surprise, surprise! Last year Latvia recorded the lowest number of murders since regaining independence. 33 people, which is nine fewer than the year before. Even Riga is probably starting to think that maybe they should learn from us Liepāja folks how to resolve conflicts.
The statistics reveal interesting facts: 96 percent of murders were domestic, 82 percent occurred in homes, and 32 percent involved a knife. "Well, I've been saying for ages that you shouldn't argue in the kitchen with a knife in hand," comments Liepāja resident Ināra, standing at the meat section of Liepāja market. "Better to go to Karosta beach and talk to the waves — they never talk back."
Particularly encouraging is the news that not a single contract killing was recorded. Apparently our economic situation is so bad that even professional killers are out of work. "Who's going to order a hit here anyway," laughs Juris from Karosta. "At most you can order a pirogi at Kuršu Kitchen, but nobody needs to be killed for that."
However, four murders remain unsolved, which shows that our law enforcement hasn't quite reached Sherlock Holmes level yet. But well, as they say — even in Liepāja not everything is perfect, just almost everything is better than in Riga.
⚠️ Satirical article. Facts are preserved, but the presentation is humorous. For accurate information, please refer to the original source.