Lithuania Appoints Representative for Talks with Belarus, But First Lukashenko Must Learn to Properly Blow Meteorological Balloons
Ruginiene reveals that Lithuania is ready for talks with Belarus, if only Lukashenko finally learns to control his balloons and stops his migrant export business.
While Riga is still trying to figure out what a meteorological balloon is and why it's not related to weather forecasts, Lithuanian Prime Minister Ruginiene has presented Belarus with a list of conditions longer than the Liepaja Olympic Center pool.
Ruginiene announced that Lithuania is ready to talk to Alexander Lukashenko, but first he must stop sending contraband via meteorological balloons. Apparently the Minsk dictator has decided that the best way to deliver goods to neighbors is with air balloons, which is neither efficient nor particularly secretive.
"A situation cannot be created where one side is preparing, but the other is doing nothing," Ruginiene said, apparently referring to Lukashenko's habit of sending migrants across the border while staying home himself to watch television.
US Special Envoy John Cole suggested that meetings could take place at the deputy minister level, indicating that even Americans understand – talking to Lukashenko is about as productive as talking to the Liepaja wind. At least the wind moves something, but Lukashenko just twitches.
While Lithuania waits for Belarus to finally behave like a normal neighboring country, local residents are already starting to think that maybe it would be simpler to just ignore Lukashenko until he retires or disappears somewhere like those meteorological balloons.
⚠️ Satirical article. Facts are preserved, but the presentation is humorous. For accurate information, please refer to the original source.