Lukashenko reveals recipe for releasing political prisoners — 250 people for one phone call
The Belarusian leader proves that diplomacy is simple: invite an American representative over for tea, chat about peace, and release half a thousand people.
While Riga is still figuring out how to convince neighbors not to disturb with loud music after ten PM, Alexander Lukashenko has proven that diplomacy is as simple as boiling potatoes. Just invite US Special Representative John Cole over for tea, and 250 political prisoners can go home.
Our oldest resident of Karosta, Eduards, who remembers the tsarist times and knows every basement corner, comments: "In our day, to get someone released, you had to write an application, wait three months, and still bring a stamp. This Lukashenko has invented the fast-release method — like fast food, but with people."
Most interesting is that these 250 people were released after just one meeting. This means that on average, each minute of diplomatic conversation cost approximately five releases. Liepāja tram driver Jānis skeptically adds: "For me to convince passengers to buy a ticket takes at least ten minutes and three threats involving police."
Now Lukashenko has been invited to the US President's Peace Council, which, given this new diplomatic approach, could mean that soon all world conflicts will be resolved with simple coffee breaks. As our local Grobiņas Street philosopher Zenta says: "If they've discovered that peace is so simple, why are we still paying taxes for the Ministry of Defense?"
⚠️ Satirical article. Facts are preserved, but the presentation is humorous. For accurate information, please refer to the original source.