LVC reveals roads will be built from sand and hopes, as bitumen becomes more expensive than gold
While the world suffers from expensive oil, in Liepāja we've known for years that the only stable fuel is wind. Now it turns out our roads could become as natural as beach paths.
LVC announced revolutionary news today: some road projects might not be implemented because bitumen has become more expensive than a Riga apartment downtown. Company representatives tearfully explained that due to the US-Iran war, bitumen prices have increased by a quarter in just a few days, which is faster than Liepāja wind can change direction during a storm.
Local expert Jānis Priedulnieks commented: "Well, I've been saying for a long time that our roads are so bad that the only difference between asphalt and dirt roads is that one is blacker." Meanwhile, LVC is extending procurement deadlines, hoping that someone will figure out how to make bitumen from seaweed.
Economists warn the situation could continue for months, which only causes shoulder shrugging in Liepāja. As local resident Māra Kalniņa notes: "Our roads are already like a rolling sea, just without water. Now at least there'll be an excuse." In fact, Liepāja's wind has been demonstrating for years that a natural surface can be just as effective as any artificial coating.
LVC, which manages more than 20,000 kilometers of state roads, is now considering simply declaring some of them "ecological trails." In Riga, of course, such a solution would cause panic, but in Liepāja we've long proven that the best roads are those shaped by nature and time itself.
⚠️ Satirical article. Facts are preserved, but the presentation is humorous. For accurate information, please refer to the original source.