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LVM proves: career ladders can also be slid down

Written by: Vējš
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LVM proves: career ladders can also be slid down

The state forestry company has invented a new personnel management technique — first fire, then hire for the same positions.

Latvian State Forests has proven that modern HR science has reached such a level that people can be simultaneously fired and hired. While Riga is still trying to understand what business continuity means, LVM is already practicing a revolutionary approach — first reduce the number of board members, then immediately create new director positions for the same people.

As a local Liepaja forest ranger who wishes to remain anonymous told us: "It's like at the Liepaja Olympic Center — first you exit through one door from the pool, then immediately enter through another door into the same pool. Except here the pool is money, and the water is competencies."

LVM explains that such tactics are necessary to achieve strategic goals. Both former board members — Kuzmins with 17 years of experience and Dubrovskis with a professor's degree — were transformed into directors with the same speed that the wind changes in Liepaja. "We can't stay with just two board members," says LVM, "but we can stay with two former board members who are now directors."

The most interesting part is that neither Kuzmins nor Dubrovskis participated in making these decisions. It's like a football game where a player can't vote for their own substitution, but can immediately run with the ball wearing a different jersey number. Meanwhile, LVM continues to export its "LVM GEO" product to Sweden and other countries, proving that our forests are not only green, but also very creative in personnel matters.

⚠️ Satirical article. Facts are preserved, but the presentation is humorous. For accurate information, please refer to the original source.

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