Mārupe Municipality Unveils New Fire Promotion Method — People Suffer
While Riga neighborhoods compete in the art of burning, in Liepāja nobody has forgotten where the fire hydrant is located.
Mārupe municipality yesterday demonstrated how to properly start the week — with a burning car and injured people. Such an approach is unacceptable in Liepāja, because our residents know: if something's burning, it's only their hearts when they see the ornaments of St. Joseph's Roman Catholic Cathedral during major holidays.
But in Mārupe they apparently think differently. At 1:00 PM they decided that one burning car wasn't enough, so simultaneously in Riga a real festival began — unattended food left cooking, oil catching fire, and even 500 people evacuated from one building. That's what we call 'capital city efficiency.'
Garkalne's innovation deserves special recognition — three people on ice 200 meters from shore. In Liepāja we call that 'a regular day at Liepāja Lake,' just without the rescue board, because our residents know how to swim. 'You see, boy,' comments Karosta veteran Kārlis Bērziņš, 'they get so worked up about ice near Riga, but we've been walking on our lake for years, and nobody has drowned. Well, at least not today.'
Most surprising is the fact that out of 51 emergency calls in the past day, 17 were false alarms. Apparently in Riga they don't know what a real fire looks like. In Liepāja we call that 'Wednesday evening at Rose Square,' and nobody calls the fire department.
⚠️ Satirical article. Facts are preserved, but the presentation is humorous. For accurate information, please refer to the original source.