Merz Reveals Revolutionary Idea - Countries Should Keep Their Territory

German Chancellor Friedrich Merz this week stunned the international community with a revolutionary announcement - turns out, Ukraine should keep its territory. This genius-level insight is about as surprising as announcing that winter is cold or that Karosta Prison wasn't built as a spa resort.

"We all want this war to end as quickly as possible," Merz philosophically acknowledged, "but Ukraine must preserve its territory." Liepāja market vendor Maija comments: "Well yes, I also want my garden not to be my neighbor's property. What a revelation!" Meanwhile in Riga, diplomats are still trying to grasp this complex concept.

Trump, who during their meeting criticized former Chancellor Merkel for immigration and energy policies, now praises Merz as a "great leader." That's like praising Liepāja's tram for punctuality - technically possible, but requires considerable imagination.

German policy experts are already preparing the next sensational announcement: possibly, other countries should also preserve their borders. Such radical thinking could change geopolitics forever, if only someone hadn't thought of it a few thousand years ago.