Oil Prices Jump Like Durbe Residents at the First Sound of an Explosion

While the world panics and buys oil at $90 per barrel, in Liepāja we peacefully continue riding the tram for €1.15.
Global financial markets showed such nervousness on Friday that even our neighboring town of Durbe, which usually prides itself on its tranquility, would start worrying about its reputation. Oil prices jumped 12 percent, stocks fell like autumn leaves, but in Liepāja we still ride the tram and wonder — why is everyone so worked up?
US President Trump announced that the war will only end with Iran's unconditional surrender, which created such a frenzy in the oil market that Brent crude now costs $92.69 per barrel. Meanwhile, ships continue to enter and leave Liepāja port with the same calm as before, and the only thing that worries us is — will there be enough space for the new container terminals.
"Look, son," comments local pensioner Jānis by Pērkons Rock, "while they're running around stock exchanges in Riga counting dollars, we've been living here for 20 years with the thought that oil will be expensive. That's why the tram runs — ecological and economical." Indeed, while the world fears inflation spikes, in Liepāja we've long been accustomed to everything costing what it costs, and nobody particularly complains.
The US economy eliminated 92,000 jobs in February, but in Liepāja we continue working with the same determination as always. Because, as our port workers say: "As long as ships sail, there will be work. And ships sail because the ocean is big, but Riga port is small."
Finally, while European exchanges fall by a percent here, a percent there, Liepāja Karosta veterans just smile: "We've known for years that it's better to invest in sea wind than in stock indices. Wind will always blow, but indices — who knows."
⚠️ Satirical article. Facts are preserved, but the presentation is humorous. For accurate information, please refer to the original source.