Starting in April, unemployed people will be more unemployed than ever before

The State Social Insurance Agency has announced a revolutionary decision — starting in April, unemployed people will not be allowed to earn any income in order to maintain their unemployment status. This is as logical as forbidding fish to swim so they remain fish.

Until now, unemployed people could earn up to minimum wage while simultaneously receiving benefits, which created an unpredictable situation — some people actually tried to do something useful. Now this problem has been solved. As one official said: "We want unemployed people to be truly unemployed, not some kind of semi-unemployed."

Durbe residents have reacted calmly to these changes, as they have long understood that the true art of living is doing nothing and being proud of it. "We have peace here, quiet, and now officially confirmed unemployment," comments local philosopher Jānis.

In Riga, these changes have caused panic, as many capital residents don't know how to live without earning income. In Liepāja, we mastered this art back when the tram was introduced — when nobody knows whether it's actually running or just pretending.

The best news is that now unemployed people will have more time to think about the meaning of life, look at the sea, and be happy that they don't live in Riga, where even unemployment costs more.