Five Foreigners in Latvia Deemed Too Dangerous Even for the Belarusian Border
On Sunday, five foreigners were denied entry to Latvia for security reasons, while yesterday no one attempted to illegally cross the border — apparently everyone understood it's better to stay home.
Latvia's State Border Guard announced with great pride on Sunday that five foreigners were denied entry to the country for security reasons. This is about as terrifying as news that the temperature in Liepāja's ice hall drops below freezing during hockey games.
Yesterday, as border guards report with satisfaction, no one attempted to illegally cross the Belarus-Latvia border. Apparently all potential intruders read the news about Latvia's economic situation and decided it's better to stay home. One border guard, wishing to remain anonymous, admitted: "We even prepared a thermos with hot tea, but it turns out no one wants to visit us."
Last year the border guard prevented 12,046 people's attempts to illegally cross the border, which is as impressive as the Liepāja ice hall's attendance during hockey season. Only 31 migrants were accepted for humanitarian reasons, proving that our humanitarianism is as selective as Riga's public transport schedule.
This year 36 people have already been detained, indicating that Latvia's popularity among foreign tourists is growing as rapidly as fuel prices. The enhanced control regime continues until the end of June, as the government still hasn't figured out how to explain why everyone wants to visit us so badly.
⚠️ Satirical article. Facts are preserved, but the presentation is humorous. For accurate information, please refer to the original source.